I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
