at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
