Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
