A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i will never coherently bang her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
