So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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