Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
