yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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