Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
