This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
bring money and cleavage
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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