hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
