D3 body, D1 cock
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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