he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
