just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
