He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Drake has all the answers
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
