Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
