Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just had sex on a roof
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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