so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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