i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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