i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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