No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Are we still banned from the library?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
