I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
