The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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