Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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