So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
