Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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