Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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