My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
