well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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