Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
