I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
