Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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