She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
