Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
