Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
