is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize