Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
