Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
