whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
