Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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