well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
