We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
