at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
