If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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