Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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