i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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