PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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