I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
