Yo dont text me then not text me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
