did you get engaged???
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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