When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
