I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
