I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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