tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
