Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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